Eh? Hello?
The whole, wide, rest of the freaking world gave their dua sen worth about The Big Malay Wedding of the Big Missy & The Big Misai and you're all mum and mild. When it was me who opened my big fat mouth, you were quick to pass judgement. Ini tak adil! Ini korrupsi!
Suddenly, you wax lyrical about how I shouldn't say this because I am not all that to begin with. Suddenly, it's all about how she's the real thang and I should not make a big deal about her affinity for D.I.L.F and facial hair. Suddenly, Siti's got it made so I can't make a big fuss about it. Eh, I didn't at all, ok? I wrote like 10 lines on my blog and then I was done. But you had to action terror. You had to put me down. Now, you've opened my floodgates and I am about to dish it out in spades.
(And you might ask why I am feeling victimised here for you might claim that your angle was wide open but hey, it's all about timing, beb. Your timing. My timing. Pfft.)
Tell me you did not air your grievances also? Tell me you were a complete saint about it and did not grind your pitchfork the tiniest bit? Tell me you did not have the sudden urge to wield a Gillette Mach3 and shave that misai off the chuffed mister?
Stop being so self-righteous, can or not? Like the Spice Girls would say, circa 1996:-
"Who do you think you are?!"
And worst of all, you make it sound like I was upset because she's marrying a blardy datuk. Well, well, well...I didn't know I came across like I had Datin ambitions. Eee. Ugh.
*looks at my still-young, very virile and not so rich Azim Babushuknya*
Yeah, I'm fine with my non-Datuk, thanks eh! And eh, if I really wanted a Datuk, I just snap my fingers, SEPULUH datang aah. Albeit with their Datins in tow, ready to fry my ass. Heh.
But seriously, different people have different negative reactions to the Missy & Misai embarking on their forever after. Some reacted because THEY should be the ones marrying the Missy. Some reacted because THEY should be the ones marrying the Misai (if any lah!). Some are indignant for the same reason they'd rather be in Camp Aniston than in Camp Jolie. Some think it's such a waste of a pretty face, a young life and a good person. And like everyone else, I have a right to air my opinion without some holier-than-thou individual telling me indirectly to stick it up where the sun don't shine.
Anyway, I am in the last two abovementioned categories.
Okay, from this point onwards, I'd like to clarify that though it is not evident -coz I try to hide all the evidence!- I do know a lot about the C.T, heard all (too many)of her songs and have met her in person more times than I can actually tolerate. And yeap, it's all because of my late father and his adoration of this sarong-clad kampung girl/millionairess, as I've mentioned previously. For as the saying goes, "The family that
:P
The thing about D.K's ex-wife is another story, another can of worms I'd rather not open. The ma'am's still on holiday, as far as the reports (i.e. what my mom told me) go.
The thing about Siti is that she deserves someone who can start a brand new family with her and only her. Someone young enough. Preferably without a bevy of teenaged children (and we all know how difficult we were when we were teenagers!). Someone without such baggage. Someone without such a hefty alimony. Someone without a rap sheet of jumping (mother) ship. Someone who can assure her that he won't skedaddle once a younger, hotter singer dons a sarong and opens the door.
And remember when Carrie was canoodling with that Russian artist in the final season of Sex and The City? Dude was so old, he had a twenty-something year old daughter from a previous marriage. Dude was so old, he was so set in his ways and all set in life. Dude was so old, he surgically dammed the flow from his sperm banks because he did not want anymore children. Not even with Carrie, to whom he professed love for. Because he was so old.
Okay..okay...not like I think D.K's a wrinkly mongster running on empty or anything like that. He's not that old, I know. And even if he is, people like Rod Stewart and Donald Trump, with their new pink babies and new blonde wives, prove to older (and newly married) men everywhere that the buck does not (and WILL NOT!!) stop here. I am also not concluding D.K's evil, itchybawah or itchymisai. I think my jury will still be out on D.K's credibility as The Good Husband so I, for one, am not passing judgement. This I do not have the right to. But I remain doubtful.
Over time, tongues will stop wagging about this whole shebang. Oh, a word or two will be whispered, every now and then from kampung to kampung, from bandar to bandar, from blog to blog. About Malaysia's darling and her datuk. But they are, now, a married couple, whether anyone likes it or not. And they will slip into their married life and face it's ups and downs, like all married couples do. Henceforth, only time will tell. In the long run, if he can prove to the masses and more importantly, to Siti, that he is a loving, caring and very good (in bed also hopefully!) husband, then people (like me) will have to eat their words and admit they've been wrong about facial hair all this while. And I am not afraid to admit I'm wrong and I will eat my words, you know?! I'm not some lyrical and literal coward.
So there. My dua sen dah naik jadi dua juta (like the dowry?). But as I've said before, asalkan dorang dua bahagia.
But I will stage a demonstration of sheer indignance if Datuk K tries to cash in on his conquest of his hot young wife by releasing a self-help book for rich old(-er) men everywhere, possibly titled "Seks and The Siti."
Coz that's just nasty, isn't it?
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