Morning Monster

Tuesday 29th August 2006

A monster was sighted on the Dubai roads this morning, enroute to Al-Taawun from the Emirates Aviation College.

All sightings were confirmed by three errant drivers, who, in their haste to get to work amidst the morning traffic, incurred the (possibly) female beast's wrath and all hell broke loose as said beast was at first reported to have reared its ugly head and let out a rather honky-wonky roar which reverberated from all sides of its being.

Said the Jordanian driver of a black Prado, who waywardly got into the beast's path with nary a signal and almost caused the beast's ass to be kissed by a tailgating Chevrolet Trailblazer, "It was scary. The monster had really wild hair, a dirty mouth and its eyes were HUGE, like big round bug-eyes!"

The driver of the tailgating Trailblazer declined comment but it is evident how very visibly shaken he was. The monster had given him The Eye and The Finger and since then, he has gone completely mute. It is understood that he will begin driver trauma therapy tomorrow, which is to take place in Bombay, India. For good.

The third driver affected put herself into harm's way "unknowingly" as she put her Mercedes SLK in the monster's hibernation spot. Through an Arabic translator, the Egyptian native said, in between her heaving bosom sobs, "It was crazy! Crazy! It's head came out from a hole in its side and it started gesticulating wildly in an alien language and I was so afraid it was going to kill me with its sharp white-tipped claws!"

She later on added that the monster looked like it had not taken a shower for a day and that might have been the cause of its vile temper, denying that it was her blatant disrespect for others' property that might have set the beast off.

All three victims will be properly taken care of in due time. The monster in question has yet to be officially identified as investigations are being carried out at time of print but from vivid descriptions of the victims and several witnesses, it is believed to be a a freak hybrid of two normally harmless species, namely the unusually fat NissanososMuranosaurus and the very rare RaihaningitisBiniAzimuvitis. Though not confirmed by Dubai's relevant authorities, experts believe the hybrid had a NissanososMuranosaurus body and a RaihaningitisBiniAzimuvitis head and is still considered to be harmless and mild. Though very fast, it is relatively tame but can be dangerous when provoked.

This is how the monster's head looked like, as described by the victims and witnesses:-

Any further incidences involving this beast are to be reported to the relevant authorities. A hotline is now open for enquiries, sightings or anything pertaining to the abovementioned matter. All road users are kindly advised to be more vigilant, respectful and careful in future, to prevent any futher mishaps involving this beast or any other road beasts that might possibly exist in Dubai.

Each and every Dubai resident's cooperation would be appreciated, regardless of whether or not one is a road-user.