Boo-Hoo-Shoe

Thursday 3rd August 2006

I hate Dubai.

It's the worst place to save money in.

Especially for suckers like me who cannot resist a good sale. And Dubai is such a place where everything is on sale, all the time, all year round. They always have some reason to have a sale. End-of-Season Sale (which happens all the bloody time padahal the actual end of seasons only happen like twice in Dubai..between winter and summer!). Summer Sale (to keep people out of the sun?). Winter Sale (to keep people out of the cold?). Relocation Sale (tapi tak bergerak-gerak tu kedai!). Ramadhan Sale (to seksa our batin?). Eid Al Fitr' Sale (to seksa our post-Raya bank balance?).

And as I have mentioned, I am a downright sucker. I am a retailer's dream sucker, that is. Put up the four-letter word and I am at your mercy, oh Master Card. Prada peep-toe slingbacks for AED1000?? Why not?! Dorothy Perkins black capris for AED80?? My size, please! Monsoon top for AED 40?? Gimme, gimme, gimme!! Aigner white leather card case for AED700?? Hello, soft white leather.....

It is a hopeless situation, it is. My husband dah gib-up, dah geleng kepala and dah gone-case dah. He said, " I can't help you if you don't help yourself, honey!". Which was such the wrong thing to say to me. For when I help myself, I help myself to more shoes, bags and pretty clothes. Sorry, honey!

Yesterday, out of selective boredom (nevermind that tomorrow's the deadline for my unfinished assignment and I have two essays..yess...TWO!!), I found myself in Burjuman's Saks after the good people of Saks (whoever they are..the sheer evil!!) sent me a text message informing me of what they call the Last Cut Sale (see? A new reason for a sale!!) that will last just three days. I found myself, a mere half-an-hour after I reached the shoe department, at the cashier counter with a pair of shoes that I have just got to have. Just one pair, you say? Not too bad, you say?

Well, last month, I bought seven pairs of shoes and it does not make me feel any better that two out of the seven pairs were gifts for my mom and my galpal SK. That leaves five pairs for me. Five. When a bloody war is raging a few states away, children are slain by missiles in their sleep and Condoleeza's being quite the Hebrew bitch. Five. When I have mortgages to contend with soon, credit cards to clear and Hari Raya in a few months. Five. When I have no more shoe cupboard space and have resorted to hiding some shoes under the bed so that Azim does not issue me a restraining shoe order when he sees shoes coming out of my ears. How many other fellow psychotic, shallow and superficial shoe queens can top that in one month?! None. Coz not many shoe queens are as psychotic, as shallow and as superficial as I am. Nor do they have the willpower of a dildo like I do. Nor are they as gatal as I am.

Nor as broke.

I need someone to come and shove all five new pairs up my sorry ass.

Any takers?




(No no..not you, Mdm LieALot. I'll take them shoes back out of my ass and make you eat them!)



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Okay, after my shoe woes have been poured out shamelessly in this post and published lagi shamelessly, I took out the pair of shoes I got yesterday to lovingly caress them (as I do to all my new shoes before I shove them under the bed and pretend to forget about them as I hit the streets for new ones). I ran my fingers over the leather straps, inhaled the new leather scent and gentel-ed the kitten heel. In the midst of my shoe foreplay, I noticed this:



Yeah...ignore everything else you see here. Only take note of the "God is Faithful" bit. Of which I did not notice before. Hmmm..does it make it wrong for me to wear them now? This is only my first pair of Francesca Giobbi shoes..been lusting for a pair ever since I saw this yonks ago but most of her shoes that I found in BurJuman's Saks so far had too much of a heel and I don't really fancy high or thick heels.

But yesterday, in the delirium of my Azimless Syndrome, I found this lovely strappy pair of kitten heels by chance (on sale some more!) and pounced on them like a hungry kitten (not-funny pun intended!!), asked for my size, tried them on, fell in love and got them. In two shakes of a lamb's kitten's tail. So in my hasty hustle, I did NOT notice this inscription on the shoe's soles. Now I've fallen in love with them too much not to wear them one day but can I wear such shoes with such a thing right from under my feet? Would it be wrong? Would it be blasphemous? Would my toes by struck by lightning? Oh woe is me. Oh woe is shoe.

Oh the guilt of shoe-shopping sprees just does not stop, does it?!