Love Letter Lost

Dear Diana Hairul,

I have to admit.

It was very easy to assume that you were your own "avid reader" coz the insults used just reeked of your kind of mouth. If I'm wrong, I sincerely apologize.

What are you trying to prove now with your constant referrals to IP numbers? That I'm the bad little girl who said Trina needed sperm supplements? And I was also the one who hate-tagged you some time ago about being a baby-factory? And I was also the one who asked you why your LV upside down? And I was .....all the hate-tags you ever had....ever?!

First of all, believe it or not, I do not leave hate tags for anyone anymore, even though we are all inclined to, some time in our blogging lives, I'm sure. I believe the last real hate tag I left was yonks ago on AnnaM's blog when AnnaM and I were at loggerheads. (Sorry AnnaM!You know already lah so moving along....). So Diana, you can choose to believe this or not. Gasak kau.

I also don't leave tags in my own blog telling myself (under another name) that I love myself. Unlike some people I know lah.

I am neither going to confirm nor deny the allegations that you're making as it will be proven moot since it is currently MY word against yours but again, I reiterate, I DON'T bother with hate-tags anymore. I've learnt my lesson coz when YOU first gave me MY first hate tag in MY blog, it hurt so bad, I swore I won't do it to another person again. Although that didn't stop other habitual losers from doing it to me. Thus my disabled comment feature.

Yes, Diana, I have been holding on to such really scathing conclusive evidence that MY very first hate-tagger, in November 2004, a few weeks before my father died, was YOU. But this one also YOU can neither confirm nor deny. Because to the rest of the world, it is also, my word against yours and nothing is proven unless I go all out and put up the proof I have. But I won't do that.Really. It's not healthy to drag faces in the mud to that extent.

Having said that, I roughly surmise that you are trying to tell the world now that since my IP on your haloscan is 195.229.242.53 and the IP belonging to "nura" on Trina's blog is also 195.229.242.53, I am therefore THE "nura" and am actually the culprit behind all the hate tags you and Trina have ever received. Based on the fact that our IPs match.Honestly, I am not very well-versed with IPs and countless explanations by those who are experts with these things have not been embedded in my head so I can't even go into details that much without sounding moronic at best.

However, I'd use the simplest justification here to prove that the simple fact of matching IPs obtained from such records you have displayed in your blog are NOT conclusive enough to support your allegations that I am "nura".

Because IF I am really "nura" just coz our IPs are matching, then let me bring everyone's attention to Trina's haloscan where Trina's IP is 202.156.6.69. Then take a look at another tagger, Ann's IP which is also 202.156.6.69. Does that mean Trina and Ann are the same person tagging under different monikers? I doubt it. Ann is Ann, another blogger. Trina is...well, Trina.We all know Trina lah kan.

And then scrolling down further, we see Trina's IP to be 217.118.122.148. Did Trina change laptops? IPs? Personalities? Servers? Genders? Anything? Possibly yes. Or possibly no. It's hard to tell.

Or simply, one cannot really tell who is what and where coz IPs are not at all conclusive and indicative of a person's identity and does not seperate the dinkys from the doinks. For example, YOU,dear Diana, are obviously in the US but your IP on my sitemeter is a Canadian server. If you watch SouthPark, Canadians and Americans are so tidak sama. Heh.

With all that I have been trying to put across here, my point is that simple IPs retrievable from site tracking services are not at all reliable. From personal experience, it takes technology more sophisticated and definately more expensive than what is available to the masses for free to really pick out the bad apple from the barrel, the real hate tagger from the sea of Anons.

As far as I know, I am "raihan" on your haloscan. And I have been "raihan" the whole of today. I believe, it would be the first time I'm tagging you on your haloscan on your blog today, besides the one episode where I left the "wedding loan" tags you had in someone else's tag box, in your Haloscan for your kind reference, lest you forget the unkind things you said about me. Heh.

So was I "nura"? In all honesty, I will say I was not. Neither was I anyone of your taggers. But who can really believe me? I don't really care. I just know what I know. And what I know is a lot and usually makes me very happy.

But were you "avid reader" or perhaps one of your gundeks, gleefully operating under your instructions?? Maybe yes. Maybe no. We wouldn't know. Again, IPs, same or different are not indicative. I should make that a tagline!

Anyway, I really hate to use the blog as an attack vehicle. I normally use it to inform people...and yes, the stuff I wrote about HIM back then was to inform people I know of what I went through with him and to unload my experience. Not to attack him personally. Manalah Raihan tau his wife would naik loktang and instead of asking me to remove it personally, went behind my back and "avenged" her tarnished reputation.

Perhaps upon your return and when I am in Singapore myself,I can meet you up to lay out the cards and set things straight. No, I am not looking to make peace because you are NOT the kind of person I'd like to have within my circle. I'd rather not be friends with you, although I attempted to previously (because I was too nice) and had my intentions grossly misunderstood. Eeeee.

But I'm just looking to set things straight so that you can stop using the blog to attack me and my family publicly and I can also do likewise. I'd like you to tell me to my pimply, bopeng face the very things you have been telling everyone else. I'd also like to see the evidence that my mother caused you "lose" your third baby and that you were pregnant that time in the first place. Remember, Diana, I went through a miscarriage myself, as YOU so proudly like to tell the world. I know exactly how it is and how it can occur. Symptoms and such. Pain, procedures and such.

I'd like to see everything and hear everything you have to say about me because I heard you and Trina have a lot to say to other people. About me, my Azim, our wedding, my family, my stuff, my Murano, my Porsche, my past, my present...everything. I can also present to you, the things I have said about you but really, ask around, there isn't much that I have really said that you haven't said so or implied yourself. In short, we bitch about each other. Khalas. Let's do it to each other's face right on.

Oh and especially about my face and my skin condition. If we meet up, then you can take a good hard look at my skin now and perhaps you can set the record straight about how really berbopeng, berminyak and bertompok Raihan really is. I'll even let you count the pimples and if you're good, I'd let you pop them. I'm sure you've never popped a zit, your skin is so flawless and perfect. :P

PS: I'd prefer it if I just meet you alone lah. If you wanna bring your wife Trina, then can also. I need to clear things up with her too. I'll bring a galpal as a mediator. But if like last time I tried to meet you in person, you die-die insist on bringing your mother and your father to meet me, then give me notice ok? I have to get permission to dig my late father up from his grave so it'll be fair lah...both our mothers and our fathers present at meeting. Baru adil,kan?!

Although I seriously doubt my father will say anything much.