Being in LA (again) is not very fun when you have an aching ass. No wait...just the left-side of the ass actually.
I don't know why my left buttcheek is hurting. It could be my recent lack of gym visits due to my recent surge in The L Word. L for Laziness...not really The L Word, that lesbian TV drama, almost SATC style. Speaking of which, a drama I do enjoy watching but not with lesbians themselves. With all due respect to them, it's not because I'm a closet homophobe -I actually adore my gay friends- but because it's so uncomfortable. Yes, I 've been caught in such a situation before because once in Dubai, I visited a friend's home and her lesbian flatmate was watching it with her girlfriend and I heard my mouth (which is not always in sync with my brain) telling them that I like this drama too! Which garnered an invite from happy couple to watch it with them while I wait for wretched friend to get ready. Which was super super awkward because while I'm watching it simply for entertainment, I know they're watching it to draw parallels to their relationship and *jeng jeng* sex life.
It's the same feeling I used to get as a little girl, when I'm watching TV with my parents and would suddenly get blindsided by a hot and heavy kissing scene. It's all very well for my little brother to cover his eyes, say "Eeeeew!" but peek through his fingers and enjoy the free kissing lesson. He was always (but no longer!) very action lebih. I was too cool for skool for all that so I'd just clench my teeth and sit stoically through the primetime "porn" with my parents -even though my insides were churning with extreme discomfort.
Okay...back to my butt.
This painful left buttcheek thing is such a half-half, neither-here-nor-there situation because no matter how much you want to, you cannot choose between the two sides of your gluteus maximus. You need both. All the time, every time. Seriously, think about it. Think of all the activities you do using your butt. And I mean ALL. See what I mean? You will always and forever need both sides of your plump behind and it's a painful dilemma when one side is in pain, like mine is right now.
I mean, if your left arm is aching, you can still just use your right arm. There are a great number of things you can do with one arm while the other goes on a pain hiatus. Arm slings are there for a reason. Butt-sling? I don't think so.
Same goes for your legs....right one in pain? Hop on left leg or limp to minimize the usage of the right one. Or if one leg needs to be completely immobile to heal....a leg cast is commonplace with a crutch (or crutches) to complement. How to minimize the usage of one side of my posterior? How to set one side in an ass-cast? And if it so happens that both cheeks need to be wrapped in a cast to heal one cheek, wouldn't it be quite diaper-like?
I know, I know..I'm getting quite assinine (sic). Initially, I just wanted to ignore it. I think pain usually goes away when you don't pay much attention to it. Like Miley Cyrus.
*takes a moment to think about how MUCH I cannot stand Miley Cyrus*
But push came to shove when I couldn't bring myself to walk the easy fifteen-minute journey back to the hotel from Target because the pain got worse (with much thanks also to the chilly weather they're having here!) and had to get a cab to haul my ass (literally this time!) there. A short five-minute trip that cost US$11!! If I dared to calculate relativity costs, it'll definately be more than what I'd pay for if I rented a Hummer H2 SUT here for a day!
Can't wait to get back home and get a massage, as per TheLaki's instructions after I whined to him kingdom come on MSN about my left-butt cheek and its annoying pain.
So okay...anyone with any recommendations for a good masseuse?
PS: Ugh...I just noticed the words "masseuse" and "massage" have the word "ass" in them and it's not even a sic! It's a blardy sign!
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