Biology

Thursday 28th February 2008

We did emergency childbirth today in class, among other things.

We had the works. The video, the notes, the pictures...even a plastic p*p*k, dilated and made to scale, complete with a crowning baby. Which Mr Tan, the trainer, eventually "delivered" while explaining to us the steps, the tools, the complications and the parts that are supposed to come out with the baby. Like the umbilical cord (one red and one blue yarn, twisted) attached to the placenta (a round little pillow-type thing, beige with pink edges).

Stern instructions were given to the boys not to stand in front of a woman in labour, should such a thing actually occur inflight, least of all peer into the "tunnel" to "look for the baby". One guy asked why and a stupid reason offered, before Mr Tan could answer, was that if severe turbulence occurs, the peering dude might fall, headfirst, into the...errr......gaping hole. Ha ha very funny.

Stern instructions were then given to the girls to try for natural birth one day when we are pregnant ourselves and to try to breastfeed our babies for as long as we can. Irrelevant to the objective of the course, perhaps, but it got us all broody and we simultaneously rubbed our tummies in anticipation of that day. As expected, the guys got excited at the mention of full breasts. Albeit only of milk clearly not meant for them. Tsk tsk tsk.

And then we moved on to immobilizing injuries, where we learnt that erections are part of a cluster of symptoms that suggest a spinal injury when a person is unconcious. Of course that sparked off an overzealous discussion. Not of the spine, more of our phallic friend . Debate peaked (pun not intended!) when a select few of us found out that it is actually a hollow part of the male body and that "hollow" would mean boneless here. Surprised? Not me. But I'm surprised that some people are surprised. :P

Apart from that, I personally learnt that if you put a bunch of 20-somethings in a room and talk about the human body, this is what happens. Ever since First Aid classes started, I've not had a single droopy-eye episode at all, whereas I would fight to stay awake by midday for some of the classes I've had prior to this. There's something about the human body and all its glory, secretions and sections that get everyone so easily worked-up. Everything becomes a porn dramedy -excess/lack of "activity", education level, past-work experience, marital status and number of children regardless. Everyone becomes a crass comedien. Every time. 

But the weekend beckons and seriousness is about to set in soon because exam's on Monday. The roster for our training flights in March are out. I leave for Hongkong on the 11th and for Melbourne on the 16th, with my batchmate Nisha. Despite having flown for three years...I'm still excited. Can't help it -I've never flown on a B747 Jumbo (Emirates only had them as freighters), I've never been to Hongkong and Melbourne is holding my Unkle Nur hostage, haven't seen him for so long! But fail exam, no flight. No flight, no fun.

So I better get cracking.