i am trudging.....really dragging my Gucci-soled feet up the stony path of the unfamiliar.this is not where my heart is set. never in my life have i felt this lost and never have i felt this jaded sense of "what the hell?!!". the scary part is that it's only been 2 months into this job. i am craving for my Ritz-Carlton life. Heck, I'm even craving for my Mediacorp life! Eric Khoo, a 29-year-old self-made millionaire cum motivational speaker sums it all up in one ultimate question "If you had $2 million, would you still be doing what you're doing?" Well, i knew what i'm going to do once i formulated the answers to that question....if I had $2 million, yes, I would still be pacing around the Ritz-Carlton posh lobby, ensuring everything runs smoothly. i loved the exhiliration of meeting the high-standards Ritz-Carlton sets. i didn't mind the long hours. i didn't mind the occasional rich difficult bastard or bitch. It's just that with $2 million, I'd make sure I'm on the board of Directors. Whoa momma! If I had $2 million, I'd still be a producer/presenter with Mediacorp Radio. Yes, I loved the fact that most of the time I'm unknown yet known at the same time and i didn't have to work my ass off as much as the TV people yet have our targets met more times than them. But I'd make sure I get to be part of an English radio station this time and not some Malay radio station where I might just stagnate and prove to the listening world that my Malay sucks so bad.Buat malu Melayu aje....tak payah lah if all I can get to now is Ria. Ria already has fantastic p/ps with bombastic Malay vocabs at their disposal. I'm sure TG still remembers vetting my script where I talked about breast cancer and my exact Malay referral to the breast was "buah dada", which at that time I thought was the polite Malay term but horrified TG to his pretty little toes! According to him, that was quite rude already and I might as well use "tetek" for the effect it would elicit! Newsflash for me then, the correct word was "payu dara" and subsequently, the politely correct word for penis is "zakar" and there was a correct term for vagina but I really forgot what it was coz i swore to myself thereafter to never accept any health-related topics from Shaik for my slots. Well, I digress.....if I had $2 million, I would definately not bother working in Gucci. I would instead be the rich bitch running my fingers over the Gucci bags and going "The monogramme is ugly. I'd rather go for Prada's simplicity." And then trot my heels over to the Prada boutique before handing over my black Amex Centurion card for that white Prada bag I'm actually salivating over at this very moment. So there's my dissertation. I will be leaving soon, I feel it in my bones. Soon I will feel the frustration cramping my cute little ass and my hands will hand (or fax, if I'm too lazy) over my letter of resignation in time to come. Something better is waiting for me out there, I'm sure....but it's just not in Gucci's Head Office in Palais Renaissance.