Rolling Out Of My Life

Wednesday 22nd November 2006

The day that I've been dreading since we decided, is finally here.

I told Azim I will cry but I promised that I will try not to. And so far, I haven't. The whole day, I've been going about as if this is not going to happen but it will and in about an hour from now, it would have happened and there is no turning back. The whole day, I've been going about like I always do with Azim on other days, other normal, non-life altering days. But that's because reality hasn't sunk in yet and Azim's doing all the formalities for the both of us. I tell you, if I were to do it, every phase would induce whines and wailings of the infantile kind. That's why I have not cried. But I know if I do, it'll only be because I'm a sentimental fool. I mean, Azim's not crying and he's as much into this as I do. But then again, men are different. Men are actually experts when it comes to seeing the bigger picture. Women are in charge of seeing the finer details. And the finer part of me is about to break anytime soon, if I carry on like this, making everything related to this an emotional issue and be blithely oblivious to the rationality of the situation. The greater good. The real reason. The better thing.

Okay....I won't cry but I will hurt. Greater good or not. Real reason or not. Better thing or not.

Darling, I will always love you and you will always be in my heart as the first one....ever.

Take care, my other love.

:)