Overly Osaka

Osaka.

Currently Emirates' only Japan destination till Tokyo and Fukuoka opens up next year after we have received all of our new A340-500 aircraft.

Currently also, Emirates cabin crew's favourite Asian destination due to the fantastic allowance, based on Japan's staggering currency exchange rate. Yeah, we get it pretty good in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and all the other expensive Asian cities but Osaka's allowance, by far, is just KER-CHIIINNGG!!

So I got all excited for my Osaka last week. This is why.

Checked into Hyatt Osaka after an 11-hour flight which was almost full. Got my room, 1301. This is it.


Everything's so proper. So in place. So compact. So Japanese. Turned on the telly. Everything's in Japanese. God help me. How do I spend my days here? I don't intend to spend my "lucrative" allowance....

Perked up after I paid a visit to the bathroom. Everything's spanking shiny and clean. The towels smell fresh, suspiciously like pandan. The tub squeeks when I run a finger on it. The...the...the....toilet bowl! It's....it's....it's.......this is it.


Complete with buttons?!

Yes. Complete with buttons. If one looks closely, one will see that the buttons are for your comfort while you pass motion. The seat warmer will warm your cold ass so the crap comes out sleek. The "Back" button washes your ass once the deed is done. The "Front" button washes your ...er... front once the other deed is done. And the "Water Pressure" button determines how much you want your ass/front cleaned depending on how big the deeds are and maybe how much sensation you want on your special areas.Heh.

Really...how I loved the toilet seat! I loved waking up in the middle of the night to pee and knowing my cold butt will be welcomed by warm loving porcelain while I pee.

Enough about my delicates. As I explored the hotel room, I found this...in an obscure little drawer.


What is it?I took it out and unfolded the unknown......


Yeah. Other hotels in other parts of the world provide bathrobes or dressing robes. This one provides a bona fide kimono. Or something like that. I went nuts parading around the room with a hotel amenity I had half a mind to steal.

Eventually, exhiliration gave in to exhaustion. I conked out. In my kimono.

Next day, I woke up to the glare of the Japanese sunshine and the kick of Japanese green tea. I also had my daily dosage of healthy Japanese cup noodles. Yes. Healthy. Unbelievable but true.


I watched a little bit of incomprehensible Japanese programs and a little bit of depressing Bloomberg and CNN news, took a long leisurely shower, got ready.....

....and went out. Map in right hand, camera in left, bag on shoulder with smile on face. Tourist Terror.

I went around the shopping areas around the hotel. I was quite surprised at how much the new Japanese generation downplay much of their J-pop culture now and instead, embrace too much of the American Britney-pop and Hip-Hop culture. I sawAmerican memoribilia being sold, American clothes brands, T-shirts with nary a Japanese word but with loads of American twang and slang, American car plates, even American military get-ups and oh so much much more. I wanted to get something onlyJapanese like a tee with Japanese inscription or some authentic anime stuff. But not much was on offer. There's even a whole area in Osaka where they sell ONLY American culture. It's called America-mura! Hey...I MAY really want my New York flight but I'm not THAT desperate for all that is American!

However, I stopped complaining when I found my place of true calling...a designer label haven called Niimura or something like that. They have the most GORGEOUS past and present seasons' Guccis, Pradas, Longchamps,Ballys,Tods and all that is pleasurable arm candy. I found a red Gucci hobo bag I've been eyeing for the longest time and it was almost on a 50% discount which makes it a mere S$600!

But I didn't get it because I have a KL flight later and I know KL's on a massive sale! Bring on the Datuks and Datins!!

I took pictures. But before I could take more, my camera died on me. Yeah, since I went nuts prancing around the room the night before,quite trigger-happy, the battery has yet been charged coz Raihan...me....the nutter....brought the charger BUT only half. HAH. I didn't bring the other half that connects the cradle to the wall.Thus, the extra weight I endured to bring my camera AND its charger is now....moot. Thank you.

And the only few pictures I had of me in action......was more of me with my eyes closed.I don't know why...demam Jepun agaknya!Bah!

I just don't picture very well....unlike some other people I know. Heh.


But hey...finally one with my eyes open...before my battery gave up, on my way to take the train, the long, lonely train ride to Kyoto. Where I got the kimono...the nugata...a gorgeous pair of gold flat pumps and some really cute Japanese stuff. Yeah...and all..Made In Japan!

The rest of my Osaka days were spent in my room or on the net. It really wasn't that much fun, except for the allowance. I really do prefer my Londons or my long Singapore/Australia trips or my Birmys with Azim.

But come to think of it, I REALLY really wanted that red Gucci hobo bag. And KL might not even have that model anymore.

Osaka.....watch out. I'll be back.